It's been faaaar too long since I wrote in this thing. To be honest, I'm not sure why it's seemed so difficult to jot these things down. It just has!! I've never been much good at explaining myself.
As you all know, I do have a dramatic flare in me, but the stuff that's been happening lately needs no flaring..lol!
I've been to hell and back since May, but things are finally looking up.
I never said anything before, but me and Anthony were trying again with our relationship. Everything seemed fine for a while, but things fell apart and I reacted very badly to it.
I didn't realise how badly it all hit me until a few weeks ago. I found myself going to church a lot in the daytime, just to sit there and think. That's not so odd in itself, but I've never really been a religious person. I guess I'm still not, but I do regard myself as being very spiritual.
I was off work for 6 weeks due to stress, which actually began to affect me physically. I developed painful boils on my face, back and neck and I also developed an acute gum disease. The doctors and dentist all agreed it was all due to stress and exhaustion. I was put on tablets and steroids for everything, and I quickly began to feel much better.
I've been out on a few dates with some great guys, and even though they were lovely and STUNNING, I realised that I wasn't ready for anything other than friendship. I didn't even want to kiss anyone else, never mind sleep with anyone. I'm thankful for the new friends I've made though!
A few weeks ago, in an attempt to inject some new stuff into my life, I got a new job in an American 50's themes restaurant, which I loved, but they wouldn't let me take breaks, even after 7 hours, and they would never even give me a clock out time. They just made me stay until I was no longer 'required', so I've kissed that job goodbye..lol!! I'm still working as a youth worker, so I'm not unemployed, but I want something else as well as.
In fact, speaking of youth work, for the past two Wednesdays, we've had a gang of teenage lads coming into the youth club and destroying everything in sight and I've even had one lad even hold a stick to my neck.
Tonight was no exception either. The night began with a young person getting run over by a car intentionally just down the street. He was on his way to the youth club, but friends convinced him to call an ambulance (thankfully!). I have no idea what the story is with all that. Also tonight, I've been working closely with a young man (14) who's been expelled from school for sexually abusing an 11 year old boy. We've no proof of anything yet, but it's confirmed that he has been expelled from school for those reasons. We need to talk to the school and find out what's actually going on and we need to decide whether this young man should be allowed in our youth club with other people the same age. It opens up a whole new can of worms for me, as I've never dealt with this kind of stuff before! Tonight, it was my job to keep him safe from the other young people and befriend him to see what I could find out, but at the same time, I didn't really feel comfortable befriending someone who may have sexually assaulted an even younger boy. I have to keep in mind, until we speak to the school and police, we have no proof that he's actually done anything, although I think that the school MUST have good reason to expel him! I'm looking forward to getting to the bottom of this though!
Anyways, me and Anthony are now trying AGAIN with the relationship. I think the time apart that we've had has helped us a lot actually. It feels so much better this time around. We both agree on that! 7 years is a long time to throw away, so I'm glad that we're giving it another go after all.
I never gave my review of the new Star Trek movie. It was FRICKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I loved it!!! I even gave in to my geekness and bought the model of the ship...lol!! Actually, I bought another one today too, and it's HUGE!! It cost £40, but it's worth it (to me anyways...I love these lil' collectible things).
I've also gotten really into my singing again lately. I've added a lot of new stuff to my myspace, which is:
Anyways, I'm trying to write about months worth of stuff here in one entry, so I'm kinda jumping from one subject to the next, so I'll wrap it up for now.
Hope you're all well! Back soon. I miss this place!!