Monday, 25 June 2007

Not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.........

Isn't it strange how some silly things that people once said can always stay with you? You can go for years and start to forget it, but the smallest thing can bring it all back?
This is going to sound hilarious, but since I was a kid, I've often been referred to as being like 'Jerry Lewis' and 'Frank Spencer' (played by Michael Crawford in the uk tvshow 'Some mothers do 'ave 'em). My Mum was the one who started it, and to be honest, I can see what she! In later years, I've been compared to 'Jim Carrey' aswell. Now, if you think about it, Lewis, Crawford and Carey are very alike. I think they look a bit alike, but most of all, their on screen performances of clumsy morons and being the general 'Bad luck' foolish guy is what I think is the strongest likeness between them. They always play the same types. Well, mostly!
I'm saying this because I always kinda feel like THAT guy. Dozens of people can walk into a room with their heads held high, then I'll do the same in the exact same way, but somehow manage to slip and make a prat of! I'll be on the tills at work, and I'll make the MOST STUPID mistake that anyone can make, but everyone will be watching me do it. I mean, how many people do you know that can...
A. Mistake a Courgette for a cucumber?
B. Think that an Aubergine is a fruit?
C. Put a Grapefruit through as a 'Big Orange'
D. Not be able to tell the difference with New potatoes and COOKING potatoes
Not know what ginger looks like?
Yes, these are all things that I've unfortunately discovered since starting my new job, but these are very small things in comparison to some big things. I mean, last week, my Mum asked me to fetch her back '4 pints of milk' after I finished work one night. Sounds simple enough. So I go and get the milk and take it to the checkout. One of my workmates was serving me and he pointed out a huge error. I had brought 4 single 1 pint cartons of milk to the checkout. 'No, your Mum meant that she wanted a 4 PINT CARTON, not 4 1 pinter's!'. He said this, and then I suddenly realised..OMG, he was right, and yet again, I look stupid!!
I mean, I have a learning problem or something??
Why do people shout 'Oh he's here' whilst rolling their eyes and smiling when I walk in a room? Why am I always the 'funny guy'? Don't get me wrong, there's no nastyness involved from anyone, but I'm sick of being the comic relief all the time and being known as the 'Light headed gay guy who talks too much'!

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                                                                  Jerry Lewis

Ok, this entry really is being written in light humour, but I guess it really bothers me sometimes. Have I got a learning problem or something?! Grrrrrrrrr!

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                                              Ooooh Betty......Frank Spencer


Wednesday, 20 June 2007


Hey folks,
Well I feel the need to vent on some stuff, so here goes.
JOSEPH ('Any Dream Will Do' - BBC 1 - UK)
We had a talent show here called 'Any Dream Will Do' in which so many guys had to compete to win the lead role on London's West End stage as Joseph in 'Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream coat'. All that is fine and dandy, and they had some really talented and great contestants! 
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However, this included one guy (Lee Mead) that had ALREADY previously done work on the West End, and had been an understudy in the 'Joseph' play itself. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a great singer, looks the part and works hard, BUT is it really fair to pit a guy who's more or less a West End professional against a group of guys that have NO experience being on stage at all?! I DON'T THINK SO!! Right from the off, I said 'The only one I don't want to win is the guy who's already been there, done that, 'cos it's not fair on everyone else'! I don't think that's unreasonable for me to say?! Anyways, toward the end of the tv show, singer 'Josh Groban' was asked to to listen to all of the remaining contestants and pick out which one he wanted to duet with live on stage of 'Any Dream Will Do'. Who did he pick?, I hear you cry.........Lo and behold, he chose 'Lee Mead'. Again, Lee's previous experience shone out, leaving the other 'normal' guys with regular jobs doing backing vocals and looking like idiots on stage. Again, NOT FAIR, as this only gave Lee even more publicity than he already had anyways! Oh, it gets me so angry. That tv show should've been open to anyone, but also with the following rule:  'Previous employees of the West End need not apply' and that's all there is to it. I watched every episode, but toward the end, it was clear who was going to win, so I stopped. The point of these kind of tv shows is to discover NEW talent from a normal background. Ya know, kinda has a feel good factor to it, NOT to dredge up old has been West End performers who've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and sold it on Ebay!
Anyway, here's the vid.


Unfair talent show ^




July 1st smoking ban (UK)
Ok, none smokers in the UK are rejoicing in the knowledge that cigarettes are to be banned in all indoor public places as from July 1st. Even though I am a smoker, I have to say, I DO agree with this and I'll tell ya for why!
1. Even if you're a smoker yourself and you're smoking inside a pub along with your mates, you're also breathing in everyone else's smoke at the same time, which means you might as well light up 10 cigarettes at a time! Surely you only wanna be smoking the one you have in your hand! Everyone thinks about the NONE smokers indoors, but even the smokers are gonna be dying younger than they would if they were just smoking ONE alone.
2. I've never smoked in enclosed public places anyways, so it's not going to affect me. I always smoke outside, even when I'm at another smokers house, I just cannot sit in a house and smoke (unless it's out of my bedroom window).
3. I WILL be having a cigarette outside as normal. If I can see the sky above me, I will light up!
(Yes, I know I should stop, and I will!!)
Britain's got talent
YES, finally, a tv show got it right!!! I know that Americans have 'America's got talent' so I wont bother explaining about the show as you'll already know, but we had so many contestants who were really talented at the things they do, be it bottle juggling, twirling, dancing, acrobatics, singing, you name it, we had it. The winner gets to perform in front of the Queen at the 'Royal variety performance' this year. Eventually, it was clear that the competition was going to be fought out between two singers. Connie, and Paul Potts. Connie is the sweetest little girl I've ever seen and has the voice of an angel (see video), and Paul is a retail guy in 'Carphone Warehouse' and was bullied his entire life, but has an incredible voice! (See audition tapes). Now, most of the people I know were voting for Connie, and I have to admit, I kinda wanted her to win too. I mean, look at her! Who wouldn't want her to win, and her voice is incredible, but again, I felt that this was just another gimmick. Take one sweet girl, add a great voice, everyone's 'Ooh'ing and 'Ahhhh'ing all night long, leaving the normal guy with a normal job hanging. Well, NOT this time!! Paul won £10,000 and also secured his place to sing in front of the queen at the variety show, also safely securing my faith in the British Public once again. Besides, Connie's WAY younger and is going to go on to bigger things anyways! You'll see!


Sweet and talented Connie sweeps the judges away!





Paul Potts (The Winner Of 'Britain's Got Talent')


The Gate Crasher nightclub (Sheffield)
Incase you haven't read, I made a comment in an earlier entry about a club in Sheffield called 'Gate Crasher' which burned down a few days ago. In my entry, I said how I wasn't going to 'Shed any tears' over this loss, but that I was glad that nobody was hurt. The club is well known for fighting and hard drug abuse. Well, I've had a few NASTY emails and comments (now deleted) from people who I seem to have offended. Apparently, I'm talking 'Boll***s!' because I never actually went there myself. They say that I can't judge a place if I've not been myself, which I have to agree with......MOST OF THE TIME!
Let me just say, one of these angry people's only defence was something like this:  'Ok, there was a drug problem, but that's there in every club', which I suppose is kinda true, but he also made out as though Drugs actually promoted these places and were good for club culture. 'Take the Beatles for example', he/she said. Well that's the WORST example of anything I've EVER read in my entire life. The Beatles did it?? Oh, well it MUST be ok then!! Actually, this only proved my own point to myself. THESE kinda people, with THAT kind of mentality are the people that 'Gate Crasher' attracted, hence why I'm not sad to see it go. Case closed, and it just proves that sometimes, you don't have to go somewhere to judge it. Common sense takes over! ;-)
So there, that's my little rant!
I'm not in a bad mood, I swear, but I just had a lot to get off my chest, and that was it....I can chill out!
Hope you're all well!

The evolution of moi!


Hey everyone, how's it goin?


I've been bitten by the video making bug again lately, and after being inspired by a friend of mine who's also made a video like this of herself, I decided to make one too.

I think everyone should do one of these. They're a real eye opener!! lol! Go us what you got!




Hope you're all well. I'm gonna start going through links and adding them to my fave journals area soon, then I can start visiting you all again!


Bye for now!



Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Making an ass of myself (May offend some)


Lol..thought I'd share this with you all....even though I might live to regret it. It was filmed a few years back, and I swear, I'm not really this...'Flamboyant!'!

I'm not all serious and moody ya know! lol!

WARNING: My 'gestures' may offend some!






Trouble at till!

Howdy ho everyone!
Hope you're all well.
Thought it was about time that I added something in this seemingly troubled journal of mine.
Things have been a little hectic of late!
My job's still going good. Ok, it's only Tesco's but it's a job and money at end of the day. I forgot about how fun and strange it can be getting to know work! I've made a good circle of friends there already, which is a good thing! There's one gay guy who wont leave me alone (in a sweet way) and people keep trying to hook us up together, which is really annoying me. They don't seem to understand the words 'I'm IN a relationship!'. I think some people don't see gay relationships as a REAL relationship sometimes. I blame that on these kinda gay guys who maintain 'Open' relationships and stuff, which seem to be the only kinda gay relationships we hear about in society. But, you all already know that I think the gay scene is too sex orientated anyways, so nuff said!
Also, WHY oh WHY does all the trouble seem to come to my till?!  Yesterday, I was working an extra shift on a day that I've never worked before. Yes, I discovered that Sunday's are REALLY busy. Anyways, there I was, beeping away at my till, not even looking properly at what items I was scanning through, when all of a sudden, I feel this warm and gooey stuff on my hand (no comment). I looked in horror to see that a bottle of washing up liquid had exploded all over my grocery belt, soaking and sliming up ALL of the groceries on it. DISASTER! Everything was covered, even me, so I quickly beeped for a cleaner (as they don't provide me with a roll to wipe up any mess for some reason). One minute went by, then another, and another, and I could tell that the customer was getting sick of waiting, so I buzzed again and again. Finally, someone comes over and hands me ONE GOD DAMN PIECE of roll to wipe up a full bottle's worth of crap on my belt. I wasn't pleased, and neither was the customer, but it all got sorted out eventually. Then, later on, a couple and their kids had done a HUGE shop! I seemed to be scanning their things through for hours. We gets all the way to them packing their shopping bags and me telling them how much it comes to in total, when disaster strikes! 'Oh no, i've lost my money off vouchers!', she yells! You can imagine me sat there, kids screaming, people getting aggrivated in the queue. I was just thinking like 'You're frickin kiddin me!!' I had a long queue and here I was waiting for someone to find some bloody coupons. No kidding, they searched for about ten minutes, but then the guy who was next in line started YELLING at those in front. 'HURRY UP!! You should've found your fu***ng coupons before you cashed out!!'. I agreed with him in my head, but still, there I was right in the!! I apologised to both parties and tried to pretend that everything was!
So yeah, job's going well so far, but I'm STILL not giving up on the stuff that I WANT to do. I wont say too much 'cos I'm tired of talking about it, but I'm going to be taking serious vocal lessons soon. I'm so excited, I can't wait!!
On a 'close to home' subject, the 'Gatecrasher' nightclub in town burned down today. I've never been there, but lemme tell ya, I'm not sad to see it go. Of course, I wouldn't have wanted it to burn down and thankfully nobody was hurt, but still...I wont be shedding any tears! It's well known as a breeding ground for drugs, violence and stuff like that, so Bye Bye Gatecrasher!!
Gatecrasher, back in it's hey day

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Anyways, catch you all soon!


Thursday, 14 June 2007



This is the BEST thing I've heard for a long time!! She's coming back...WOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!




Excuse me while I take myself to pass out....YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!


Thursday, 7 June 2007

Chirpy Cheep, Tesco's and Daleks, oh my!

Hello good folk of journal land, I hope you're all fine and dandily!
Sorry that my entries are so far and few between lately, but I haven't been able to sit at my pc for a while. I'm trying..hehe!
So much has been happenin' lately, I dunno where to start.
I got a job at a place called 'Tesco's' which, for those who don't know, is a huge grocery place in the UK. I don't think it's it? I dunno, but yeah, I have a job there working on the tills. Yes it's mundane, annoying, boring (which is the same as mundane) but it's a job for now and while I'm there, it makes looking for another job much easier. I'd stay there, but I REALLY hate retail jobs. It's just not me, although I love the 'talky' side of customer service (cos I never shut the hell up!!) The place is friendly and most of the staff are gay, so I fit right!
On another note, I think me and Ant moved back into Mum's (here) today but I'm not quite sure. I'll keep ya posted. We'll see how all of us living together goes for a while. FINGERS CROSSED!
It was Anthony's 24th Birthday today! It was a nice day, although I wasn't able to spend much on him, which really annoys me! Everytime June 6th rolls round, everyone seems to be skint (without money).
As I said though, it was a nice day and he enjoyed the 'Doctor.Who Dalek' cake I bought him from where I work (see pic). We're not big oldie Doctor.Who fans, but the new ones have been brilliant. Do they show the new ones in America? Hmm....

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I'm sat here listening to an old 50's mix from an old group called 'Jive Bunny'. They take all these golden oldies and mix 'em all together to make musical magic. It's wicked! Just realised how cool the songs 'Rubber Ball' and 'Oh Carol' are! lol! Oh and not forgetting the STUPENDOUSLY camp and brilliant 'Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep' by 'Middle of the road'. Pure brilliance! lol!
Today, I saw a family that I used to see a lot just in passing by a few years ago, but since moving to Woodhouse with Ant, I never saw them and kinda forgot about them. That was until today when I saw them all again. It's amazing what a couple of years has done to the eldest daughter. She looked like a kid before, now she looks 28! lol!! Made me realise how fast things can change, but I take small comfort in noticing how the youngest son seems to have looked 6 years old for 10 years. That kid will never change! Ooh, I hope he's not a midget, otherwise I feel awful now!  ;-)
Anyways, I'm rambling about pointless crud, so I'll catch ya all later!
Stay safe and be well,