Thursday, 6 September 2007

Grandad and 'those words'.......

Hey guys, How's it goin today?
Pavarotti died? Noooooooooooo! What a voice that man had!
I just wanna start by saying thanks to Bill for his apology comment in my last entry. Seems I misunderstood the comment, so I'm also very sorry. I think, as I said in my last entry, that it came at the wrong time. Kinda like the tip of the iceberg after a few incidents with some other people, so Bill, let's just forget it, huh? *Shakes hand*..hehe! Thanks so much for explaining, and yeah, I'm up for that drink whenever it's convenient....;-)
I've just woke up here kinda early considering I only had five or so hours sleep. Had a weird dream about Captain Kirk beating some bad guy up with a stick...LOL!
I'm taking myself to town tomorrow to buy a new top and jeans and stuff. I'm finally delevoping an interest in fashion lately. I'm not bothered about wearing name brands or whatever's currently popular. If I like it, I like it, end of, but so many of my friends will only wear 'Henley's' or 'G-Star' or something. Drives me crazy. They could save a fortune if they just bought something without a brand name plastered on there! 
It's a weird time right now. A very old family problem has raised it's ugly head again, and all because Grandad made one stupid comment. Ya see, me, grandma and grandad were never close when I was a kid, despite me and my brother living just a door away. It always just seemed to be all about the other grand kids (a specific set too. Many other grand kids were 'shunned' too). We grew up believing that they had something against us, but they said that it wasn't true. As I've gotten older, I decided to forget all of that mess and just enjoy them while they're still around, but my brother will never be close to them. Now the other day, after reading my poem, Grandad said something very sweet, but also quite.....what's the word....Upsetting maybe? He said, 'To think of what me and him were like when he was a kid. I judged that lad wrong'. The actual comment is very nice, but it leaves the question, judged me for what?! What reason can he possibly give to judge a child?! It's just kinda confirmed that yes, he did have a problem with us as kids. I just can't figure out why though. We were kids. We weren't rude, we didn't cause trouble, infact we hardly even saw them! Nothing's been said about it, and I don't even wanna discuss it, especially after his ill health lately. It's not worth the arguing or anything. Besides, I don't think we'd get any answers anyway. It'd just get covered up like so many other things do in this family.
I'm not angry, just upset and very confused about the whole thing. Just when you think things from the past have been and gone, they always manage to come and bite ya in the ass don't they? hehe!
Anyways, hope you have a great day all (even if you read this a week!)


ukgal36 said...

You sound always does that to me too..;-)
I miss ya toots...

nightmaremom said...

hehehehe...  cute picture babes... just reminds me of the trolls that lurk... no doubt they aren't as cute.   I went back to read Bill's comment.  Such a nice thing for him to apologize...  gotta love it when one steps forward.  Bill... what a guy!
hugs to both of you

jeadie05 said...

Yes Luciano Pavaroti will be missed ,enjoy buying your new clothes ,and dont worry about what you cant change Jan xx

deshelestraci said...

Try not to let your Grandad get to you.  Some people have no capacity for unconditional love.  Very sad.  Like you said, no reason to judge a child!  But it does happen.  

emabecmar said...

I was so sad to hear Pavarotti died. I love listening to his music. He had a wonderful voice. Have fun shopping. There's a part of my family that doesn't speak to us. It is my mom's side. When she died in 1970, we never saw her family anymore. They wanted no parts of us. (((((((((hugs))))))))))
Love ya stevie,
Cindy xoxoxo

justplainbill said...

Steve, OK lets *Shake*.
The Internet, and it the instant communication it gives us, leave something to be desired. Yes , we have the emotion cons ( :-) and abbreviations LOL and J/K but I have found nothing like an one on one conversation where you can read a person's facial expression, tonal nuances, body movements and voice inflections. I find my self often reading things online twice or thrice in order to make sure I am reading it as it was meant. I am not always successful at doing that and I think I am not alone with this problem. Bill

amy122389 said...

It is sad but many people aren't judging children so much as they're judging the parents and the kids just get the backlash.
I've heard people say "That whole family is a bunch of crazies."  Well, of course, the kids probably aren't crazy but they get lumped with the parents by way of association. opinion is it's not really you that your Granddad was judging... ;-)

Sad about Pavarotti...his voice was incredible.  I saw him perform and it gave me chills.....

keep on keepin' on, love!


mansnott said...

When I was yourger,[OMG Im old lol], esspecially in the late 70's early 80's I discovered denim so I've never been a person for the big names,opposite the worse thing I bought was a pair of denm dungarees. Most of my friends called me 'Jhn Boy Walton lol. Hope everything works out. Take Lv Gazxxx

patrice21459 said...

Hi Ste, Mum here, not too sure what Amy is trying to say here but you know my Parents have no grief with me or your Dad.
It's just that your Cousins lived next door to Grandad and they got preference over the rest of you because they were nearest to hand, that's all. It's called favouritism.
Times have changed now and your Grandad and Grandma have realised their mistakes and are trying to make up for them.
You're not just a name now, they see you for the person that you are and they love you.
Millions of families go through this very same thing as I've heard many times.
So don't let this bother you, you never went without the important things in life and my love FAR outweighs anyone elses for the two of you anyway.
Love you loads

luddie343 said...

Yea, the past really can do a number on ya - if you let it.  I know how it happens, tho - no controlling those old feelings, needing answers to old questions.  I'm sure folks will advise you to "just forget it" etc, but I think if a person wants to live a full life "now", sometimes they need to know more about "then".  xo CATHY

luddie343 said...

Si, I'll miss the Maestro too.  Arrivederdi!  CATHY

gazker said...

Fashion tip! It's not what you've got, it's how you wear it............. Never been into labels dahlink!
Gaz x