Thanks to all of you for your comments and general 'help' lately. I really appreciate it!!!!
Last night ended badly when me and my brother had an almighty row on the phone. Years worth of stuff came up and we were both brutally honest, but he took things too far and basically told his girlfriend that I was only angry because I'd not taken my 'meds', which is absolute crap. The only 'meds' i'm on is hayfever and a tablet to help me sleep at night, and I don't even think I need that anymore. The doctor put me on the sleeping tablet last year when I was having those attacks, but they're so rare now that I don't think I should be on it now. I have NEVER been on any anti-depressants or anything which is 'mind altering' so to come out with something so evil and childish has just gone to show me that even now, years later, my brother's not changed and never will, so I've called it quits with him for good. I want no contact with him whatsoever. When I hear or read about stories like this from other people, it really saddens me. 'Brothers shouldn't be enemies' and all that kinda stuff, but this really isn't bothering me. Well no, I guess that's wrong. This bothers me for my Mum's sake. We're her only two and it can't be nice for her to know that we hate each other, but what can I say? We do and that's that. I've probably only seen him about 20 times in 10 years anyways, so it's not like it's a huge life changing deal for me. Forgetting that I have a brother isn't anything new for me, only this time, I WANT to forget him. Mum was upset as she wants me to be an uncle to his kids whenever they come along, but I don't wanna know. It sounds harsh, but there's stuff that I wont talk about on here that's drove me to feel like this. I guess the two biggest things that hurt me was him telling me that he's wanted to see me living 'On the streets' for years, which I think is just god awful. I could understand if I was a drunk, or a drug addict that was causing problems for my Mum, but neither is the case, so god knows where that desire has come from, and secondly, the fact that he's telling his new bit of fluff (about the 6th this year) that I'm crazy when she doesn't even know me. But, ya know, dragging my hate for him around is just gonna affect me badly in the long run, so I'm just dropping the baggage right now. He don't deserve shit from anyone with the way he treats them, so that's that.
Anyways, on to good stuff, I got a 'geeky' parcel through the post this morning. IT FINALLY CAME!! Yeah, you've guessed it by now if you know me, it's another Star Trek model..lol!
Only 3000 of these worldwide as it's a version that was only used once in the very first episode (That didn't star William Shatner. The Captain was played by 'Jeffrey Hunter') so I'm chuffed that it came today. Another one to the collection..lol!
I also bought myself a new windows vista compatible webcam today, so I can chat to friends and do more vids and stuff now..woo hoo! Since having Vista, it's annoyed me endlessly that I couldn't use my cam, but now I can, so in your face vista!! lol!
Been walking round with 3 finger bandages and an arm support today for my right hand after the door attacked me yesterday....lol! I thought my knuckles would be the worse affected, but to be honest, it's mainly my middle finger, my wrist, my elbow and shoulder that I've damaged. This shows me that I don't punch correctly, even in temper, because none of these areas should've took the brunt of 3 punches! I felt like such a twit walking around town with one finger and thumb sticking out of this mummified arm..lol! My friends certainly thought it was hilarious anyways....idiots..lol! It'll be funny tomorrow working the tills at work with my only good finger..lol!
Hope all's well with you who's reading this right now!