Wednesday, 18 July 2007

The day after.....

Thanks to all of you for your comments and general 'help' lately. I really appreciate it!!!!
Last night ended badly when me and my brother had an almighty row on the phone. Years worth of stuff came up and we were both brutally honest, but he took things too far and basically told his girlfriend that I was only angry because I'd not taken my 'meds', which is absolute crap. The only 'meds' i'm on is hayfever and a tablet to help me sleep at night, and I don't even think I need that anymore. The doctor put me on the sleeping tablet last year when I was having those attacks, but they're so rare now that I don't think I should be on it now. I have NEVER been on any anti-depressants or anything which is 'mind altering' so to come out with something so evil and childish has just gone to show me that even now, years later, my brother's not changed and never will, so I've called it quits with him for good. I want no contact with him whatsoever. When I hear or read about stories like this from other people, it really saddens me. 'Brothers shouldn't be enemies' and all that kinda stuff, but this really isn't bothering me. Well no, I guess that's wrong. This bothers me for my Mum's sake. We're her only two and it can't be nice for her to know that we hate each other, but what can I say? We do and that's that. I've probably only seen him about 20 times in 10 years anyways, so it's not like it's a huge life changing deal for me. Forgetting that I have a brother isn't anything new for me, only this time, I WANT to forget him. Mum was upset as she wants me to be an uncle to his kids whenever they come along, but I don't wanna know. It sounds harsh, but there's stuff that I wont talk about on here that's drove me to feel like this. I guess the two biggest things that hurt me was him telling me that he's wanted to see me living 'On the streets' for years, which I think is just god awful. I could understand if I was a drunk, or a drug addict that was causing problems for my Mum, but neither is the case, so god knows where that desire has come from, and secondly, the fact that he's telling his new bit of fluff (about the 6th this year) that I'm crazy when she doesn't even know me. But, ya know, dragging my hate for him around is just gonna affect me badly in the long run, so I'm just dropping the baggage right now. He don't deserve shit from anyone with the way he treats them, so that's that.
Anyways, on to good stuff, I got a 'geeky' parcel through the post this morning. IT FINALLY CAME!! Yeah, you've guessed it by now if you know me, it's another Star Trek!
Only 3000 of these worldwide as it's a version that was only used once in the very first episode (That didn't star William Shatner. The Captain was played by 'Jeffrey Hunter') so I'm chuffed that it came today. Another one to the!
I also bought myself a new windows vista compatible webcam today, so I can chat to friends and do more vids and stuff now..woo hoo! Since having Vista, it's annoyed me endlessly that I couldn't use my cam, but now I can, so in your face vista!! lol!
Been walking round with 3 finger bandages and an arm support today for my right hand after the door attacked me! I thought my knuckles would be the worse affected, but to be honest, it's mainly my middle finger, my wrist, my elbow and shoulder that I've damaged. This shows me that I don't punch correctly, even in temper, because none of these areas should've took the brunt of 3 punches!  I felt like such a twit walking around town with one finger and thumb sticking out of this mummified! My friends certainly thought it was hilarious! It'll be funny tomorrow working the tills at work with my only good!
Hope all's well with you who's reading this right now!


sneezy7125 said...

You're right, people DO say that brothers shouldn't be enemies, but if that's the decision you've come to, then I trust it's the right one. Despite how it may sometimes seem to you, you've got a good head on your shoulders… not to mention you're a grown man and can make your own choices in life.

I'm so relieved that you're feeling better today. I didn't sleep last night at all. I was up all night wondering what you were thinking, how you were feeling... it's good to know you're okay (minus the hand... shoulder... whatever lol, of course.)

Love you Stevie,

emabecmar said...

((((((((((Stevie)))))))) my heart breaks for you. But I know where your coming from with this. You see I have a brother, who will stab you in the back in a second to get what he wants. I haven't spoken to him in 25 yrs. I heard he is in prison again for another gun charge. Just let your mum know you love her and go on with your life.
Love ya,
Cindy xoxoxxo

dougsbabygirl31 said...

Time to cut your losses. I had to with my mom. I understand. I am happy about your model and sorry about your hand. Tawnya

fisherkristina said...

That's a cool model!


lisa41076 said...

Awwwww Stevie that was a very mean thing your brother said to you, you are an awesome person and you do'nt deserve that, I have a 26 year brother that does'nt talk to me , long story there, but it hurts, Hugs to you Lisa XO

nightmaremom said...

awww Ste...  I'm sorry... but you know how I feel about things....

............. did you say WEBCAM??  huh huh didja?  I read again... yeahness in a BIG jar ya did.  LOL

I picked my number.  LOL
love ya

gazker said...

It is said you can chose your friends, but not your family, Oh boy, we all know that's true!
Gaz xx

jeadie05 said...

I think its your brother who has the problems not you ,his past history proves this ,move on, its your life dont let any one spoil things for you Jan xx

pharmolo said...

Siblings can be too close for comfort at times, Stevie
As your next entry suggests, tomorrow's another day.

seraphoflove9001 said...

Stevie...I do hope things get sorted out for you. Many hugs! :o)

luddie343 said...

Live long and prosper, young one.  It gets better I promise.  xoxo CATHY

heavenlybama said...

Long story....but I had to cut my brother out of my life because of the many things he did to me and my parents.  He died 3 mos. before his 40th b-day.  His death didn't affect me in any way cuz I only think of him the 1st 20 yrs. of his life.  I didn't know who he was the last 19.  I can say I've never shed a tear over him being gone and it's been 2.5 yrs.